Sarah's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Sarah [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Homework bites. [08 Sep 2001|06:49pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Andy C. - Bodyrock ] I've started school. *throws a fit* Essays are retarded. I never understood the point of babbling on when I could get what I want to say across in a few sentences. Anyways, last night Sebastian was upset. I talked to him online and on the phone and it was.. disturbing. Yes that's the word. I never heard him like that before. It was like he needed something so desperately that I couldn't give him. He's still kind of weird, but he's coming over so probably within 10 minutes he'll be okay. I'm like prozac when I'm with him. He kind of is with me too, but now just knowing that we're together keeps me happy, although I'd like to with him longer. *Seems impossible no?*

The last 5 days.. [04 Sep 2001|02:46pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | Faith Hill - Breathe ] I havn't been home. I went to Sebastian's house *of course* and the next morning we went to the hotel/chapel thing that Sebastian's mom was going to get married at. The wedding was cute, but way too christian for my taste. Too many prayers and Sebastian *who gave his mom away* had to confirm that he was for the marriage way too many times. I'm proud of him though. I don't think I could give my mom away to a guy that I didn't think was worthy of her time. The night after they were wed, Sebastian and I decorated their car with white shoe polish *You know, the whole "just married" thing with cans died to the back bumper* and afterward, while we were lying in bed Sebastian said "My car will look pimp WHEN we get married." Not IF we get married, but WHEN we get married. I pointed it out and he blushed. It was sweet and I much prefer "when" because that's what I would have said too. Damn I'm gonna miss him for the next 3 days. He has work and school and is sharing a car with his parents since his parents other car got reposessed. Poor boy is so stressed with the wedding, the conflict with his sister, etc. Katie is here! YAY! She's visiting for couple more weeks so I'm gonna spend the next few days hanging out with her *hopefully*. I want Katie to move back here, but she has a boyfriend back home in New Jersey that she can't very well just walk away from. I don't blame her in the slightest. I wouldn't leave Sebastian for anything. Hopefully she'll convince her boy toy to move here.

3am SUCKS when you're broke, not 18, and can't drive.. [29 Aug 2001|02:55am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Tool - Sober ] There is nothing to do. I need cigarettes. I worship Sebastian and yay for him obsessing over me just the same. I MISS HIM! *dies* Okay so my septum ring is gone *in fact Sebastian has it in his ear* and my hair will be blonde by Monday. *sniffle* I looked so good too.. oh well. On Monday Sebastian's parents are getting married and even though I think his mom is making a mistake, I am attending. I get to dress up and look all pretty in that prissy sort of way. Aww I'm gonna look so cute! Unlike the pictures that were taken for my school ID. I look like a spokesmodel for pocket protectors or something. Luckily I'm gonna get Wal-Mart pics for the actual school year so I'll look super cute for those AND have pictures on the computer that actually look like me. Well I think I'm done... Yes.

False Awakeness [27 Aug 2001|10:13pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | The Ceiling Fan ] Sebastian called me from the Block and I was supposed to go over, but I was barely awake and just left him on the line while I drifted back to sleep. I don't really remember it. He said he waited on the phone for about 10 minutes. Then, after he called me the second time and I actually woke up, Steve wouldn't take me. I felt horrible. Sebastian spent $20 on a taxi just to come over for a few hours *one of which he is currently spending passed out on my bed*. He'll be leaving in a few. I thought he was just gonna go home, but I'm really glad he came to my house cause I missed him. <3333

CHAOS! *wets herself* [27 Aug 2001|07:41am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Kay Cee - Millenium Strings ] "Aaliyah died.. oh and 8 other unimportant nobodies" Okay people.. she sang.. quite well yes. I was a fan, but couldn't the media AT LEAST name the others who died? Out of the thousands of newscasts on Aaliyah's death I only saw one that actually named and acknowledged the lives of the other passengers. Sadly enough, that's the only person anyone really cared about. Society is lame. NEW SUBJECT! *throws tea cup and moves down* Actually it's not new.. it's more Sebastian crap! Bwahahaha I'm obsessed with the boy. :] I gave him these pictures of me back from when I was like 14 or 15 and my mom was watching him look at him which later resulted in her saying "Sarah I think he loves you. The way he looked at your pictures isn't the way most boys look at you *YEAH A LOT OF BOYS LOOK AT ME! I SWEAR! ::flips hair::* .. he looks at you like he truly cherishes you." He should! It's about time someone loved me and actually ACTED like it in a mature manner. If you love someone, you do all you can to make them happy, you DO NOT do all you can to get them to love you back whether they like it or not. Okay here's a real new subject.. oh wait no I talked about these idiots before.. OH WELL it's a new situation! Cesar and Sebastian were here this morning? night? Whatever.. and Andy *the ever so famous bull headed jock* calls me and wants me to come outside. Just like not too long ago while Sebastian and I were watching Hannibal with my mom he INSISTS I come over and watch it there, not letting me off the phone which of course causes Sebastian to steal the phone, say "She's watching a movie.. goodbye", and hang up on him. Oh that was funny. ANYWAY back to the new situation, I tell him that I'm not comming outside alone.. that Cesar *the "fag" Andy and his friends are deathly afraid of* and Sebastian will be coming with me. He says nothing for a moment then "Do you have any girls there? I know Cesar's a fag, but he's not a girl". If only you could smack people through a phone huh? He wasn't trying to insult him because if I had said that, Cesar wouldn't mind, but the thing with Andy is that he gave Cesar crap in high school and now somehow thinks that because HE says so, everything is all better. Sorry guys, things don't work that way! It's over when Cesar forgives you.. *Never gonna happen unless you literally kiss his feet*. I tell the boys what happened and we all go outside and within a few seconds Andy, Brent Bargus, Greg Pelle, and some unknown 12 year old lookin kid pull up. Actually they pull up like 12 feet away and after I said "What? Afraid to pull up?" Andy quickly comes up the drive all quickstyle and stops about a foot from Sebastian in, what we believe, was an attempt to scare him. Naturally, Sebastian, being my hardcore little bitch, doesn't even flinch. Andy and I exchange greetings and what not.. blah blah blah.. then Brent asks if I have any extra cigarettes. It was quite wonderful since I had bummed it off the 2 boys that Andy and them apparently didn't like much. I signaled to them and Brent actually had the balls to ask Cesar for a cigarette! I was quite proud and actually excited because I knew Cesar wouldn't give him one or let this opportunity of being a bitch pass him up. He says "Are you sure you want a cigarette from a fag?" WONDERFUL! Cesar makes me proud. <3 Brent replies "Dude, I never talked shit" and then he and Andy mutter pissy comments to each other. Apparently they found this threatening because Brent got highly defensive and muttered pissy comments with Andy that I couldn't quite understand. It was JUST a question! Then during a pause in an awkward conversation with the boys Andy just drives off. I found this rude. You shouldn't leave a lady without a proper goodbye. So, I went inside and called Andy's cell phone, asking why he had left in such a bitchy manner and his reply was "Why was that guy trying to act tough?" *I believe he was referring to Sebastian who barely even said a word* I informed him that, unlike he and his friends, my friends do not need to TRY to act tough. In fact they didn't even act tough. Andy and his friends were simply baffled at how skillfully we could give attitude as well as why we would be rude.. but they're morons because when you are either not liked just for being you or not liked for serious cruel things you did with intention, you're gonna be treated like shit. ::vomits:: okay I'm done.

I WANNA BE COOL TOO! [22 Aug 2001|07:29pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Nine Inch Nails - Deep ] HottlilBLINKgrl: hey yall rate my new s/n XxgothicqueenxX HottlilBLINKgrl: on a scale of 1-10 IndustriaI snob: it's lame. IndustriaI snob: -1. HottlilBLINKgrl: lol HottlilBLINKgrl: thanks Pixyish: yeah it is Ix oxy moron xI: not original Pixyish: from a BLINKgrl HottlilBLINKgrl: i cant think of anything Pixyish: to a goth queen HottlilBLINKgrl: but it looks cool HottlilBLINKgrl: lol HottlilBLINKgrl: im not goth Pixyish: hard to believe if you ask me HottlilBLINKgrl: but it looks cool Gotta look cool even you're not. lol

*Dances like Michael Jackson* [22 Aug 2001|04:03pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Alien Ant Farm - Smooth Criminal ] Oi I just woke up. Yay for nocturnalness. :] Sebastian and I spent about a half an hour sitting on my room this morning *5AM* and I thought it was cute. We were all snuggling as the stars disappeared... it's the type of stuff that makes the single person want to vomit! *yawn* I am still not quite awake. The other night Sebastian, Dave, Chelsea, and I went to Snot's Berry Farm and it was pretty fun, until Sebastian and I actually caught up with Dave & Chelsea. Dave is okay.. in fact he's pretty awesome, but his girlfriend is a 15 year old who acts 12 and tries too hard. They were rolling and were actually walking through Knott's playing with glow sticks and doing other raver acts that make the normal person cringe. Sebastian and I made it a point to walk about 10 feet away from them at all times especially since we looked all hardcore *We were hot too!*. Dave asked Sebastian to have me take advantage of Chelsea and at the same time Chelsea came up and said "Dave wants us to kiss".. Will never happen. :] Regardless of gender, I'm taken which means I'm loyal. Anyway that was fun.. Oh Cesar called me and it turns out this guy Joel who is best friends with my ever so hated ex Nathan and the beast of a woman Tina now works with him. He also lives with Jordan, another lying bastard of the bunch. These are the people who are friends with that fat 30 year old child molester guy.. EW! Cesar, who also utterly despises this vomit inducing little crowd, has actually decided to transfer because he doesn't want to be around anyone who has anything to do with them. On another note with Cesar, Noah said he loved him! I'm very happy for them both *Cesar said it back*. I believe Cesar needs someone really badly and even if Noah isn't the most stable person, Cesar does love him. I always said he and Noah would be that couple that breaks up 8 times before one big finale break up or a marriage proposal. Here comes round 2. :P

R.I.P. Eric Dennis 1984 - 2001 [17 Aug 2001|07:01pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Razed in Black - Metamorphosis ] I called Cesar randomly and he told me that Eric Dennis, this boy that I had a huge crush on in 5th grade *you could even say he was my first big crush* was killed while driving home from Las Vegas. He got hit by a semi or something along with his friend Cory that went to my school, but I don't think I knew him. I barely talked to Eric after elementary school, even when he rented videos to me a few months ago *he worked at Hollywood Video* we didn't say hi or anything. I think if I had I'd feel a lot better about this. It's not like devistating or anything because I honestly think death is beautiful, it's just that it would have been nice to think I was friendly the last time I ever saw him. He was a cute guy. Had a baby face and was very intelligent. He was sweet and definitely would have had a successful life. I've never known someone that died before, aside from a grandparent, and it wasn't even someone I was close to.. but it still makes me feel something. Not sad, or angry, or anything.. just weird. Like people I know aren't supposed to die unless they've already lived a life if not a life and a half. Hmm...

Starlet Wars [17 Aug 2001|12:09am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | The noises that Sebastian's Star Wars video game is making ] This chick named Krystle *aka - Sparkles.. She "magically" thought of that name because she noticed the glitter make up she wore on her eyelids* imed Sebastian tonight on MY computer and when he told her we were dating she starting talking trash. Krystle is this girl who always had problems with me, but still was all sweet to me. Her problems were that 2 of her boyfriends hit on me. One was Jesse who thought she was an annoying rat girl and wanted to do me, but I'm classier than that and I don't touch peoples boyfriends. The other was Robert which was actually her ex. She still liked him and he said he still liked her, but wanted me more so he didn't go back out with her. After all that I saw her a few times at parties and she ever so perkily *is that a word?* said "Hi Sarah".. I just gave her funny looks. I didn't like her then and I wasn't afraid to show it. Especially when she attempted to show Cesar and I her "Modelling pics" which were just stupid pictures that you wait an hour for at Sav-On to get developed and I just sort of snickered and continued my conversation with people who meant more than a potato chip to me, unlike "Sparkles". After she finally realized that I didn't like her, she decided that I was a whore. Amusing. I asked her if once again she was just jealous that an ever so gorgeous boy liked me more than her and how many people she slept with *to compare our "whorishness"*, but she insisted that Sebastian wasn't her type and her only response to my "how many people have you slept with" question was "Less than you." She has no idea how many people I've slept with.. Especially considering the last time I ever spoke with her I had only slept with 1 person which happens to be my best friend. Another hottie that she wouldn't mind getting her paws on. She also commented that my family was "fucked up" which is funny cause the other day my family, Sebastian, and I were discussing that. Sure, we're fucked up, but there's positive fucked up, and then there's hillbilly trash fucked up. We're the positive kind which is simply playful unconservative hippies. Everyone loves my mom *except for Krystle obviously who only met her once for about 2 minutes*. So Krystle, this entry is for you.. B I T E T H E C U R B. :] Thank you.

Do you know the Muffin Man? [15 Aug 2001|03:29pm] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Alicia Keys - Fallin' ] Yesterday was one month for me and Sebastian. He got me Requiem for a Dream, Small Time Crooks, and the sweetest card I've ever gotten. I don't think he would have gotten the card if he hadn't pissed me off at his house though. He is so touchy. I mean like yesterday he said he wanted to shoot a crow with a bb gun. I told him if he ever did that I'd shoot him with a bb gun and he got angry. He said if I shot him he'd leave me and I still said I'd shoot him so he said "I obviously don't mean much to you then." If you shoot a crow with a bb, you deserve to get shot yourself. :P But the main thing was that he almost got in a fist fight with his step dad so I demanded he take me home because I don't like being around that and we ended up arguing. He apologized of course. On the front of the card it says "You Are My Happiness" in fancy purple writing and behind it all big in silver it says "I Love You". Inside it says; "In this world of responsibilities and realities, having you to dream with and play with to laugh with and love with, makes everything more beautiful. I need you and love you with all my heart." He wrote: "My Love For You Will Never End. Love, Sebastian" Yeah Yeah it's mushie. Hopeless Romantics rawk. <3 On a new topic, I got off the phone with Cesar not too long ago. He says he doesn't want to hang out with Sebastian and I at the same time because he's afraid he'll screw our relationship up. :| I think he has depression. He talked about how he had spent 24 hours in bed one day.. not sleeping.. just lying there the entire time. That's creepy, especially since I can't do that.

bite the curb! [12 Aug 2001|10:47am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Foxy Brown - Candy ] My sleeping hours have been so retarded. It's not that I've been nocturnal or anything, but I've been woken up way early almost everyday for the past week. Either because Sebastian's mom is bitching or because I am the only one who can wake Sebastian up to go to work. Might I say, Sebastian's mom is one HELL of an alarm clock. Just now I got paged with 143 - 143 - 143 - 59.. from Sebastian of course. Sweetness <3 Sticky note ~ AODating is queer.

old friends and alcohol [06 Aug 2001|06:12pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Linkin Park - Papercut ] Okay I honestly should have updated this earlier because a number of things happened. First off my friend Alaisha came to visit on Friday because today she moved to Hawaii. She was one in the four-some of best friends all through elementary school. I will miss her, but I should be visiting her and keeping in touch. This girl moved 2 hours away in 5th grade and we're still hanging out so I don't think the Pacific Ocean will hold this friendship back. Naturally since she, Adrianna, and Lindsay were all here, all the boys from elementary school had to come say hi too. Those boys also happen to be your typical moronic jocks. Sebastian didn't like them at all! Which of course gives me more of a reason to adore 'Bastian even more. :] Anyways, my old elementary school guy friends were with a certain guy that I hate. His name is Greg Vickers and the only reason I don't like him is because he used to give Cesar a lot of crap in high school. Naturally the second he walked onto my lawn I started my chaotic rein of bitchiness. "Uh oh it's Greg.. you better run. I'm a dyke and I might make you queer!" He laughed thinking it was no big deal, but through out the night I treated him like garbage. I called him a pansyass closet fag and a sorry excuse for a man. It was fun. Adri gave him a bite of her ice cream sandwich that came from my house and I said "Why are you giving him my ice cream?".. when he asked if he could smoke in my room I said "No.. they can, but you're lucky I even allowed you near my house." It was sooo entertaining. He kept saying "What's the big deal? Why are you being like this?" I reminded him that being treated differently sucked and when I pointed out that I was giving him a taste of his own medicine, he actually apologized for being such a prick in high school. I told him to apologize to Cesar, not me, and that then I might consider treating him like a person. Woo! Speaking of which, Cesar then came over. He spent the night and actually kept his word about coming back. I was impressed. I found out that Dan is obsessed with him. That he like goes to kiss Cesar and even after Cesar pushes him away, he tries again. It creeped me out.. I think Dan is sick in the head. Dan had been at my house for about 45 minutes after he brought Cesar over and they had drama.. no surprise! Anyways, at one point in the night Cesar had to leave and come back and while he was gone, Alaisha said "I think he likes you..." and asked Sebastian what he thought. Sebastian didn't care but according to Alaisha, Cesar stares at me until I look at him. Weirdness.. but nothing I give a crap about. New topic: I was sick yesterday and Sebastian brought me soup, candy, soda, a stuffed animal, and a dozen roses. How sweet is that? So, since tomorrow is his birthday, I got him awesome stuff. About $90 worth of stuff. WoOt!

Mission Nintendo [31 Jul 2001|01:04am] [ mood | content ] [ music | The music in the first level of Castlevania for old Nintendo ] You gotta love the old school cheesy ass Nintendo. My mom actually thought the game watch glitched beacuse of the graphics, but that's just how crappy they are compaired to today's XBox and what have you. It's funny how a person will have to blow in the game over 20 times before it works and somehow you tolerate it, but if you get a Playstation CD and it doesn't work the first time, you are ready to shit a brick. Anyways, today is my best friend's birthday and I'm totally broke. Sebastian's birthday is also on the 7th and since Adri *the best friend* spent $40 on my birthday present and Sebastian spent over $140 on a date, both presents have to be GOOD. Since I'm jobless I told my mom that I'd take out my septum ring and let my hair go blonde for the rest of the time I live in her house if she gives me money to buy them gifts. I'm a happy little slacker.

no cheese.. only rear view mirrors [25 Jul 2001|10:13pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Joe & N'sync - I Believe in You ] Okay so Sebastian sings to me. He also has his song for me which is Joe & N'sync - I believe in you. CORNY! <3 He's sooooo precious. This is the first day I've gone without seeing him.. kinda sad huh? LoL

sweetness [22 Jul 2001|04:23pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | BT - Flaming June ] Bastian is a doll. I had bad cramps today and he called me on his lunch break asking if I wanted him to bring me Midol. Awww! Of course, I will hang out with him today like I have every day for over a week. I miss Cesar. I havn't seen him in a while not counting the time he came over at 4am for like an hour. Tomorrow we made a date to just hang out and it's right after his driving test so if he passes we'll be driving to nowhere and back for no apparent reason. :] Life is peachy.

"i'm not afraid of anything... cept the power rangers" [20 Jul 2001|01:40pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You ] So I have gotten like diddly squat for sleep in the past week. I've been hanging out with Sebastian everyday and for most of each day so going to school has been a big pain in the ass. Thank god today was my last day of school. Now I can go back to my ever so screwed up sleeping pattern. Anywho, I went to my first concert on Wednesday and had a freaking blast. It was Godsmack, Puddle of Mudd, and Deftones, but Deftones cancelled because of illness. Sebastian said he bought us lawn seats or whatever but surprised me with seats that were like only 14 rows from the stage. It was awesome. I definitely need to go to more concerts. Bastian spent over $140 on the date. He's such a doll. Everyday he impresses me with something new. So far he's beat me at chess (Something only 2 other people have done and only done once), played the piano better than I do by ear just like I do, beat me at Tetris, spent $140 on a date, and even let me play with his turntables. Finally someone worthy of me and my time. :] Speaking of people worthy of my time, you know who is now definitely not worth my time? Dan. Cesar found out that Dan tells all his friends that Cesar calls him every 2.2 and always hits on him. Of course, Dan adds that he rejects Cesar everytime. Now I naturally get angry when someone lies about me, but don't you dare lie about those I care about. Especially Cesar. Dan is the one who is in love with Cesar and Cesar rejected him. Dan got me the movie Dancer in the Dark which I totally adore and is going to get me Quills which is just as awesome, so until then I'll tolerate Dan's idiocy, but afterward, I shall confront him on all his bullshitting and kick the dumbass to the curb.

did you ever know that you're my hero? [13 Jul 2001|06:49pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Gene Loves Jezebel - I forgot the name. ] Sarah is no longer single! *and the peasants rejoice* I'm not sure if I ever spoke of Sebastian in this thing, but I hadn't seen him for a year but last night, while I was hanging out with Dave's little clique on the beach, Sebastian shows up. It turns out he's friends with these people too. Might I add, I absolutely adore Kacie & Shelley. They're discount store junkies like me and I had met Kacie before but only seen and spoke with her at parties. Anywho, about Sebastian. I used to have the biggest crush on him, but at one point he was dating this other girl and at the other point my best friend had a HUGE crush on him. Of course, I didn't want to hurt her feelings especially since Sebastian had said he liked me for a long time. I had to just pretend I didn't like him... AWWW I'm so sweet. So yes, he came to my house after the beach and we stayed up all night talking about random crap and the past. He's such a gentleman. He opens all doors for me, says bless you, and pulls out my chair. Sure, ALL men SHOULD act this way.. but none of the guys I know ever did this stuff. He asked me out at about 6 in the morning and I hesitated at first because after all I had only spent one night with him after not seeing him for an entire year or so, but he's just too precious. On another VERY dorky note, we had to read this book for my study skills class called "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens". Well, we didn't have to read it, I just chose to instead of listening to lectures. It's really cool and I feel like such a geek for thinking a teenage self help book is awesome.. but hey. It's true. It actually boosted me to speak while we were at the beach and I had a ton of fun. Kacie said that next time she goes discount store shopping I have to come with. Yay. :)

24 hours pepped on pamprin. lol [06 Jul 2001|05:59pm] [ mood | lethargic ] [ music | Marilyn Manson - Diary Of A Dope Fiend ] Okay so I noticed the only people who read this *that I know of* are my AOFriends and like.. I only talk about my RL stuff. So here's a list of online people I want to have wild sex with. Sam Mike Kitty Rochelle Ron Jarrett

Bishops and Sodomy.. hahahaha [06 Jul 2001|05:50am] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Razed in Black - Oh My Goth ] So tonight was pretty cool. Well.. last night/this morning/whatever. Dan came over and I've honestly just decided to avoid the whole lying thing. I'm just gonna tell his friends the truth and let karma deal with him. In fact right now as I type Dan is snoring and drooling on my bed. Cesar also came over and we watched Quills, which is honestly one of the coolest movies I've seen. Cesar and I decided he needs to corrupt/sodomize a preist or a bishop or some religious figure in a church. Anywho, Cesar was in a really good mood. Actually not at first. At first he was in a horrible mood and just stopped by to say he was just gonna go home. Dan tried to talk to him which is a stupid move because Cesar in a bad mood is like speaking to a rock with piercings. All you do is get frustrated. Luckily Cesar came back all peppy and adorable and my night was fun. Today I'm probably going to go see Moulin Rogue, FINALLY. That is if I stop getting all pumped up on Pamprin long enough to fall asleep. Everyone has seen it except me and let me tell you seeing your friends sway back and forth in unison saying "roll in the hay" over and over is scary unless you know what they're talking about. Cesar says it's gonna make me cry because it's all lovey. I'm hoping I vomit instead.

Funky Sausage, says Dave [03 Jul 2001|12:52pm] [ mood | lethargic ] [ music | VNV Nation - Dark Angel ] I came back from Vegas early for certain family reasons that I would really rather not explain. I just wanna say Hell Yes for Dad giving me over $200. I wanna get a portable cd player and maybe a Gameboy Advance. Oh and I'm definitely going Ebay hunting. YAY!

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